dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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