But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
