...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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