she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
