Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
