Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
