She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
