i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
