Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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