Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize