You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
