so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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