dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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