There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
