this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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