so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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