when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
