Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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