so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
