She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
