I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize