It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
