The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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