Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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