At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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