dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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