Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
