and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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