Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
