Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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