You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
