Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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