pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
