I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
