so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
