woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
