Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
