Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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