I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
