You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
PANTIES FOUND
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