Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
