Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
