so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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