can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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