pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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