my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
