dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
