Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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