I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize