i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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