you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
