I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
