Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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