Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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