So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize