everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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