If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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