I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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