There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
