Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
