Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
