90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
