So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
